March 17th has always been a thorn in my side. When I was a kid, there was the whole pinching people for not wearing green bullshit. I like the color green, I’ve just never liked wearing it because it looks weird on me, as I have an olive skin tone and it makes my green eyes look muted. Then there’s corned beef and cabbage. The smell makes me gag, and I don’t like the flavors. Cooked cabbage should only happen when it’s a sarmale (cabbage roll), or maybe in gulyás (Hungarian goulash). As an adult, during my alcoholic years, March 17th reared its ugly head with obnoxious people at bars decked out in green leprechaun fuckery asking why I wasn’t wearing green. I’d motion to my green eyes or one of my tattoos that had green in it, to which someone would try to argue that my all black goth attire would not do on this day and I must be pinched. That never, ever, EVER ended well. Ever. But, I digress.

St. Patrick rid Ireland of all the “snakes.” There’s debate as to whether or not that was factual. I wasn’t there, so I don’t know. Anyway, March 17 became St. Patrick’s wear a bunch of green and get shitfaced Day. Some prefer to call this day All Snakes Day. I like this much better, just as much as I enjoy my annual green minty shake from a certain soul sucking establishment (hey, we all have our faults). So, on this day, whatever you choose to call it, remember that you’re still here, living life as you choose, and give thanks for that.